So I went to pick Vanea up from the airport tonight, which is no big deal because I love the airport. I get there, it's kind of crowded, and it takes me about 5 minutes to get to the pickup spot instead of just driving up to the place where she is. Anyway, she had texted me right as I was getting to the place where she said she would be and told me that she was going to the bathroom. I panic a little because there are airport security guards every 10 feet or so and I know they're not going to let me park my car. I pull up to an empty spot behind a Buick and I pray for her to hurry because there's one of those guards standing next to the car in front of me. He leaves and points at me to move my car. I'm ready with my excuse that I'm waiting for my pregnant friend, but he starts walking down the row of cars, so I figure he didn't care that much and maybe I didn't need to move my car. He comes back, Vanea's still not there, I'm starting to panic more, but am also kind of mad that the guy didn't even take the time to listen to my excuse, which was a REALLY good one. He says, "I told you to move your car a couple of minutes ago, why haven't you done that?" I tell him, "My pregnant friend had to use the restroom and she's going to be right back." To which he says, "Well, if I had a pregnant friend, I would park my car in the structure and help her with her bags." Then I looked over and Vanea was standing right next to my car in her cute maternity outfit and puts her bags that a 5 year old could probably carry without a problem into my trunk. It was AMAZING timing and the guy didn't say anything else to me.
p.s. I don't really understand why a guy would make his pregnant friend walk all the way to the parking structure, even if he was carrying her bags for her. It seems like more of a burden for the woman to walk that far than to carry a few bags about 50 yards from the baggage claim.
p.s.s. I still love the airport.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
The bunny
Today I went walking on the boardwalk in Newport. This isn't anything out of the ordinary because I do this at least twice a week. While I was walking past the big clock, I saw a man playing guitar and he had something on top of his hat. I couldn't figure out what it was at first, but there was a fairly large crowd around him and I knew it would be something interesting. As I got closer, I saw that it was a bunny on his head. As I continued to get closer, I saw that he had a chicken, another bunny, and a guinea pig that were around a little table in front of him. So strange, but I kept walking because I knew I could pay closer attention when I was walking back.
Once I came back, he had added a dog to the mix and it was sitting on a leash next to him... it kind of looked like one of the dogs from "Pirates of the Caribbean." By this time there were 2 cops who didn't seem to know what to do. It's like they didn't want to interrupt this train wreck that was occurring in front of them because it was pretty entertaining, but they also seemed like they were trying to figure out a way to cite him for something. I stopped briefly to hear what his singing voice sounded like, but it was a little too twangy and I decided to continue on my way.
Once I came back, he had added a dog to the mix and it was sitting on a leash next to him... it kind of looked like one of the dogs from "Pirates of the Caribbean." By this time there were 2 cops who didn't seem to know what to do. It's like they didn't want to interrupt this train wreck that was occurring in front of them because it was pretty entertaining, but they also seemed like they were trying to figure out a way to cite him for something. I stopped briefly to hear what his singing voice sounded like, but it was a little too twangy and I decided to continue on my way.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Freedom
We talked a lot at Tuesday night's bible study, so this is kind of a continuation of the last blog. Hilary brought up the amazing question of, "What does freedom in Christ look like in a person's life?" Carrie's response was that we experience freedom when we're truly living in the moment, being aware of God's presence, and not dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. That statement was absolutely true, so I wanted to try and remember the times that has happened to me...
~ The majority of the week at RFKC was like that this year. I was almost always completely in the moment. Not thinking about what was going on at home, not thinking about what I'm going to do for a job or missions. Just spending time with the girls in cabin 17 and enjoying their company. There was Shaneia and her AMAZING sense of rhythm/hip hop skills. Kristin, Justine, and I were a great team as counselors because we were able to back each other up when it came to following through on any rules for the girls and we had so much fun as a group. Jennifer would take my arm whenever we were walking anywhere and it was so cute because I didn't think of her as a particularly clingy child when I first met her. Jennifer being cuddled up next to me during the graduation ceremony and I just kept crying because I was thinking, "This is what life is about. God has placed us in each other's lives this week for a reason, she has stolen my heart, and I'm going to miss her so much when this week is over." Crying pretty much every morning when people would talk about the breakthroughs that happen with some of the campers each year. Getting to be at the same table as "Quickfeet Blake" for all of the meals. He charmed the socks off of me from the very beginning. After our first lunch, he said, "I don't usually do this when I first meet a person, but...," then he went to give me a hug and I just about died from trying to stifle my laughter.
~ Going to Blaine, Kentucky and not wanting to leave because of the people that I met on that trip. We had so much fun, even though there were 11 of us in a 2 bedroom apartment and the bathroom door didn't close all the way unless you stuck a shoe underneath it. My favorite memory was watching the kids start a bible study during their free time. They just had a craving to read more of the bible and they did that when they could have been playing cards or hiking or playing music.
~ Any time spent with my family, whether it's going to the Wards' to watch "Psych" and play "Rock Band" or going out to lunch with the 'rents and the Fazakerleys.
~ Sitting in the backyard while reading a book, writing in my journal, or playing Sudoku.
~ Having the perfect summer day, which includes going to the beach with friends, playing in the waves, getting frozen yogurt, and having a barbecue.
~ When my students knew the routine and followed it without needing to be reminded of what to do next.
~ Joking around with coworkers at the Beach Pit while eating ice cream and blueberry cornbread.
~ Taking long walks while talking with friends.
~ Holding Alethea while she's asleep and seeing how peaceful a baby can be. Seeing her smile and having fun when she's awake.
The common thread among the majority of these things is that they are about having relationships with people and being aware of God's presence. I need to be better at living my life that way!
~ The majority of the week at RFKC was like that this year. I was almost always completely in the moment. Not thinking about what was going on at home, not thinking about what I'm going to do for a job or missions. Just spending time with the girls in cabin 17 and enjoying their company. There was Shaneia and her AMAZING sense of rhythm/hip hop skills. Kristin, Justine, and I were a great team as counselors because we were able to back each other up when it came to following through on any rules for the girls and we had so much fun as a group. Jennifer would take my arm whenever we were walking anywhere and it was so cute because I didn't think of her as a particularly clingy child when I first met her. Jennifer being cuddled up next to me during the graduation ceremony and I just kept crying because I was thinking, "This is what life is about. God has placed us in each other's lives this week for a reason, she has stolen my heart, and I'm going to miss her so much when this week is over." Crying pretty much every morning when people would talk about the breakthroughs that happen with some of the campers each year. Getting to be at the same table as "Quickfeet Blake" for all of the meals. He charmed the socks off of me from the very beginning. After our first lunch, he said, "I don't usually do this when I first meet a person, but...," then he went to give me a hug and I just about died from trying to stifle my laughter.
~ Going to Blaine, Kentucky and not wanting to leave because of the people that I met on that trip. We had so much fun, even though there were 11 of us in a 2 bedroom apartment and the bathroom door didn't close all the way unless you stuck a shoe underneath it. My favorite memory was watching the kids start a bible study during their free time. They just had a craving to read more of the bible and they did that when they could have been playing cards or hiking or playing music.
~ Any time spent with my family, whether it's going to the Wards' to watch "Psych" and play "Rock Band" or going out to lunch with the 'rents and the Fazakerleys.
~ Sitting in the backyard while reading a book, writing in my journal, or playing Sudoku.
~ Having the perfect summer day, which includes going to the beach with friends, playing in the waves, getting frozen yogurt, and having a barbecue.
~ When my students knew the routine and followed it without needing to be reminded of what to do next.
~ Joking around with coworkers at the Beach Pit while eating ice cream and blueberry cornbread.
~ Taking long walks while talking with friends.
~ Holding Alethea while she's asleep and seeing how peaceful a baby can be. Seeing her smile and having fun when she's awake.
The common thread among the majority of these things is that they are about having relationships with people and being aware of God's presence. I need to be better at living my life that way!
Rules vs. Grace
We were talking about having freedom in Christ last night during bible study because of going through Galatians. I have loved studying this book because Paul talks so much about experiencing God's grace and he emphasizes that it is not about obeying the law. In Galatians 3:11, it says, "So it is clear that no one can be made right with God by trying to keep the law. For the Scriptures say, 'It is through faith that a righteous person has life.' "
I have spent the majority of my time as a Christian being concerned with obeying the rules, trying to be kind to others, going to church, etc., and treating my relationship with Jesus like a checklist. God loves me no matter what I do for Him because I'm His child. On the other hand, there are things that I want to do to show Him how much I love Him and I think that's why the legalism occurs. It ends up that I do things because I think He'll appreciate it, but those things don't matter if my heart isn't in it... and the bottom line is that it all comes down to the heart. There's a song by Ginny Owens called, "I Am Nothing," where she sings about how she could cross the oceans to tell people about Jesus, teach Sunday School, give away all of her money, etc., "but if I do not love, I am nothing." If I'm doing anything and saying that it's for Jesus while not really thinking about Him, then it's wrong. It means that I'm trying to gain His approval and I'm being completely legalistic.
I don't need to do anything to be loved by God. I should WANT to do things because of having a relationship with Him, but He loves me unconditionally- no matter what my attitude is. If I'm reading my bible, it needs to be because I want to learn more about the Lord and grow deeper in my relationship with Him. It shouldn't be because I have devotions and I need to get them done at some point during the day to make me a better Christian. If I'm going to church, it needs to be because I want to worship Jesus. Not because it's 5:30 on Saturday night and that's where I always am during that day and time. I don't think He wants people doing things for Him just because they're part of a routine.
I'm still grappling with all of this and haven't come up with a clear answer. I know that all of my actions do need to be done with love, but I'm also aware of the fact that there are times when I need to be responsible and do things that I don't feel like doing. There are going to be times when my heart isn't in something that I'm doing for God, but I'll still need to follow through with them. It's so hard to find the line where something is being done out of obligation and fear instead of out of joy and love. God's grace is the only thing that can allow me to experience that joy and love, though.
I'll end with this analogy... I love babies and have been around when a lot of them were newborns. The fascinating thing about them is how much people adore them, even though they're not able to DO anything for another person. They cry, they eat, they smile, they poop, they laugh, etc., but they're not going to do the dishes, join you over a cup of coffee, or give you advice on a major decision. They bring so much joy to the people who love them, though, just because of who they are and because of spending time with them. I think that's the way God looks at us as His children. I don't need to do anything to make Him love me. I just need to be aware of His presence and while I'm doing that, He's probably up there saying, "Look at Jenna, she's working hard to show how much she loves me, but she doesn't need to because I'm just so happy that she's one of my children."
I have spent the majority of my time as a Christian being concerned with obeying the rules, trying to be kind to others, going to church, etc., and treating my relationship with Jesus like a checklist. God loves me no matter what I do for Him because I'm His child. On the other hand, there are things that I want to do to show Him how much I love Him and I think that's why the legalism occurs. It ends up that I do things because I think He'll appreciate it, but those things don't matter if my heart isn't in it... and the bottom line is that it all comes down to the heart. There's a song by Ginny Owens called, "I Am Nothing," where she sings about how she could cross the oceans to tell people about Jesus, teach Sunday School, give away all of her money, etc., "but if I do not love, I am nothing." If I'm doing anything and saying that it's for Jesus while not really thinking about Him, then it's wrong. It means that I'm trying to gain His approval and I'm being completely legalistic.
I don't need to do anything to be loved by God. I should WANT to do things because of having a relationship with Him, but He loves me unconditionally- no matter what my attitude is. If I'm reading my bible, it needs to be because I want to learn more about the Lord and grow deeper in my relationship with Him. It shouldn't be because I have devotions and I need to get them done at some point during the day to make me a better Christian. If I'm going to church, it needs to be because I want to worship Jesus. Not because it's 5:30 on Saturday night and that's where I always am during that day and time. I don't think He wants people doing things for Him just because they're part of a routine.
I'm still grappling with all of this and haven't come up with a clear answer. I know that all of my actions do need to be done with love, but I'm also aware of the fact that there are times when I need to be responsible and do things that I don't feel like doing. There are going to be times when my heart isn't in something that I'm doing for God, but I'll still need to follow through with them. It's so hard to find the line where something is being done out of obligation and fear instead of out of joy and love. God's grace is the only thing that can allow me to experience that joy and love, though.
I'll end with this analogy... I love babies and have been around when a lot of them were newborns. The fascinating thing about them is how much people adore them, even though they're not able to DO anything for another person. They cry, they eat, they smile, they poop, they laugh, etc., but they're not going to do the dishes, join you over a cup of coffee, or give you advice on a major decision. They bring so much joy to the people who love them, though, just because of who they are and because of spending time with them. I think that's the way God looks at us as His children. I don't need to do anything to make Him love me. I just need to be aware of His presence and while I'm doing that, He's probably up there saying, "Look at Jenna, she's working hard to show how much she loves me, but she doesn't need to because I'm just so happy that she's one of my children."
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