Homesick

Well, I've been in this new chapter of my life for about a week now and it's finally beginning to hit me that this is what my life is really going to be like for the next 10 months or so. I had a really tough time tonight because I was missing everyone back home. Even though everyone here is very nice and welcoming, there are still a lot of people that I love back in CA and I wish I could be spending quality time with them, too. Basically, I wish that I could be in 2 places at once right now.

I watched "The Hills" tonight with Kim, Jenny, and Terri, but I got pretty sad thinking of the fact that I'm not at home, sitting on the green couch with my roommates and mocking it mercilessly. Also, the fact that I'm not going to be there for our Monday night HIMYM party is really getting to me. I ran 4 miles tonight just to clear my head and get my energy up, which kind of helped. I played a lot of my songs about depending on Jesus and it reminded me that I'm not in Kentucky for me right now. I'm doing this because God opened the door for me to come here and it's the place that He wants me right now. I heard a sermon last week and the pastor said, "No call matters without surrender." Right now, I'm having to surrender the quality time that I had with my friends in CA, that I can't just go to bible study or church, that I can't see my family whenever I want to, etc.. I expected it to be a character building year when I signed up for this, I just didn't know in what ways and now I'm starting to see what the challenges are going to be. It's not that I don't like it here, it's just hard to leave the place that I came from behind.

In conclusion, here are some of the songs that I listened to tonight to remind me that God is present:

- "Speak"- Lindsay McCaul
- "Let Go"- Lindsay McCaul
- "Take My Life"- Chris Tomlin
- "I'm Not Alright"- Sanctus Real
- "Take Away"- Mainstay
- "In Your Presence"- Charity Von
- "Taken"- Plumb
- "Take Me Through It"- Charity Von
- "Invitacion Fountain"- Vineyard